Chivalry is not quite dead yet. Thinks it'll go for a walk.  
Yesterday made for an interesting ride home on the bus. Living on the east side, we seem to get the worst of the worst when it comes to city buses. We don't expect fancy things like air conditioning or even working sliding windows.

What I generally DO expect is for the bus to get me home... with me inside it. That wasn't the case yesterday. Right after leaving the station, it was found that the bus didn't have enough go in it to drive up the first hill.

I've had days in the winter where the bus couldn't get up that hill because of the snow. So be it. I know they won't put snow tires on the bus and I understand that traction can be an issue when you're driving on ice and snow. Fine.

But this bus simply didn't have enough power to get its ass up the hill with a light load of people on it. And this wasn't a packed bus!

The solution to this was to ask all the guys on the bus to get off and walk up the hill so the bus could make it. Not all the young people, or all the able-bodied people or anything else that would make sense in this politically sensitive new world. Just all the guys. I commend the driver for taking this route and more power to him. A little chivalry should be welcomed by the world in this day of selfishness and general discourtesy. I applaud him.

So I and what I assume were all the other guys on the bus got off and walked up the hill.

I think that as we were walking, many of the women also ended up having to get off that pathetic wreck of a bus, but that's besides the point. What really irked me was what happened when we got back on.

It would stand to reason that if you had a seat when you got up to let the bus climb the hill, then you'd still have one when you got back on. It's not as though we picked up new passengers from the side of the hill. Of course, that sort of courtesy seems to be lost on the rabble that call themselves society these days.

After doing my part to get off and let the ladies ride the bus, I got back on to find some skinny blonde chick sitting in my seat. I stood there and said "You'd think that if you had a seat when you got off to let the bus up the hill, you'd still have one when you got back on." Some lady replied that of course you would, obviously not realizing what happened. Good for her. At least my thoughts weren't completely alien to the world.

And the rude little blonde chick just sat there. Ignorant self-centered bitch.

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So much for the krauts. 
The Germans have been eliminated from the World Cup and, along with them, all likely chances at me winning the second round of the lunch pool I'm in.

Bloody Italians. Turns out they can play well when they're not taking bribes and fixing matches. Good on them. They deserved the win.

To add insult to injury, if Italy wins the final, they'll nudge Germany out of 2nd place for most World Cup wins, for which they are currently tied with the Azzurri.

I guess that's what they get for not scoring any freakin' goals!

Can't win all of them on penalties, you lazy bastards!

Looks like I'll have to be happy with just one free lunch.

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Ech... no... more... puking... 
I'm slowly recovering after one hell of a wild night.

Yesterday, I spent the day with friends jumping off a dock and generally having a great time. Then, to top it all off, we headed over to a restaurant and had quite possibly the worst service I've ever had at a restaurant.

Ironically, the waiter started off after taking our orders telling us how well he could read his own writing. He then proceeded to screw EVERYTHING up. He screwed up the drink order. He screwed up the entree order. He screwed up the dessert order. It was unbelievable!! And above all, I think he tried to kill me.

Getting home, it didn't take long for me to get violently ill and start puking my entire guts out. Seriously. All of them. I don't think I've ever puked that much in my entire life and just when I'd think it was over, I'd go through it all over again.

So what did I do? Did I rush myself off to the hospital to get some doctor to tell me I was sick?


My wife called Telehealth Ontario and they basically told her to tell me to quit being such a pussy and walk it off. Hell, they even told her to stop giving me any medication! "Just let him puke. It's good for him." It seems I've got food poisoning and this is about the best thing to do about it.

Now THIS is a service I don't mind my tax dollars going to!! If more people would call them up rather than rushing to the nearest doctor and costing our health system thousands of dollars, we'd all be better off!

So here I am... nearly 24 hours later... and all I've eaten is a slice of bread and half a banana... and I seem to be getting better. Looks like the nurse was right. Looks like I'm not dying.

And above all, it looks like I've got the best wife in the world for putting up with it all, bringing a cup of water to my hand every time I wanted to take a sip, slicing a piece of bread into little pieces I could chew on, and just generally putting up with my unshowered, stinky ass through this whole thing.

See? I'm not always complaining. God bless her!

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Wha Happen??? 
The big story in the news today is the fact that Israel has pretty much pummelled the shit out of Gaza.

I'm just wondering if there's a single Palestinian out there that didn't see this coming.

Consider this alternate scenario.

What if we Canadians were to go ahead and elect the Al-Qaida in Canada party into power. Our neighbours to the south probably wouldn't be too pleased. If our Prime Minister were to then shout "Death to America" from the rafters at every opportunity and then fire a few rockets at Detroit and Buffalo now and then, you can be damned sure the Americans would turn around and take notice.

Surely they'd be a bit miffed and they'd probably stop buying shit from us and sending us shiny new cars.

Then, after all that, if we were to go and abduct a few Americans and start making demands, I think it would be a safe bet that they'd bomb the snow right off us and we'd all be trying to re-build out igloos from radioactive mud.

With that in mind, I don't think I'll be voting for Al-Quaida should they decide to run for office here. It just doesn't seem like the smart thing to do.

Seriously. WTF. Do they actually want to build a proper nation down there or are they just out to cause trouble and martyr themselves???

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I thought the Corolla was a car. 
I was shown the error of my Corolla-driving ways. In trying to adjust the seat properly, I was treating it like a car. As it turns out, I should have been treating it like a tiny RAV4, or an electric-scooter, or some sort of motorized lawnchair or something.

I've discovered that I can comfortably drive the thing if I sit in the seat like not as though it were a car, with my legs out in front of me, but rather like a truck, with my knees bent like I'm sitting in an arm chair or something. Not so much pushing the pedals, as stepping on them.

I guess this is what normal people like. Go figure.

It doesn't change the fact that the radio dial is still too far away and the arm rest is still completely useless, but at least now I can concede that the car can be comfortably driven, no matter how uninspiring it is.

Of course... it IS a Corolla so driving it shouldn't be expected to be enjoyable. It should just be expected to keep going for a million miles before it breaks down.

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