Wha Happen???

The big story in the news today is the fact that Israel has pretty much pummelled the shit out of Gaza.

I'm just wondering if there's a single Palestinian out there that didn't see this coming.

Consider this alternate scenario.

What if we Canadians were to go ahead and elect the Al-Qaida in Canada party into power. Our neighbours to the south probably wouldn't be too pleased. If our Prime Minister were to then shout "Death to America" from the rafters at every opportunity and then fire a few rockets at Detroit and Buffalo now and then, you can be damned sure the Americans would turn around and take notice.

Surely they'd be a bit miffed and they'd probably stop buying shit from us and sending us shiny new cars.

Then, after all that, if we were to go and abduct a few Americans and start making demands, I think it would be a safe bet that they'd bomb the snow right off us and we'd all be trying to re-build out igloos from radioactive mud.

With that in mind, I don't think I'll be voting for Al-Quaida should they decide to run for office here. It just doesn't seem like the smart thing to do.

Seriously. WTF. Do they actually want to build a proper nation down there or are they just out to cause trouble and martyr themselves???

I thought the Corolla was a car.

I was shown the error of my Corolla-driving ways. In trying to adjust the seat properly, I was treating it like a car. As it turns out, I should have been treating it like a tiny RAV4, or an electric-scooter, or some sort of motorized lawnchair or something.

I've discovered that I can comfortably drive the thing if I sit in the seat like not as though it were a car, with my legs out in front of me, but rather like a truck, with my knees bent like I'm sitting in an arm chair or something. Not so much pushing the pedals, as stepping on them.

I guess this is what normal people like. Go figure.

It doesn't change the fact that the radio dial is still too far away and the arm rest is still completely useless, but at least now I can concede that the car can be comfortably driven, no matter how uninspiring it is.

Of course… it IS a Corolla so driving it shouldn't be expected to be enjoyable. It should just be expected to keep going for a million miles before it breaks down.

Am I some sort of giant??

A week or so ago, my neighbour backed into my car. She then proceeded to get angry about it, as though I'd tossed it out there behind her Cherokee when she wasn't looking… which… incidentally… was the entire time she was backing up… but that's all beside the point. To her credit, she apologized 2 days later so I'll chalk that up to her needing time to chill out and accept the stupidity of her mistake.

The topic though, is that for the next day or two I'll be driving a Corolla as a rental and I can't for the life of me figure out how a normal sized person is supposed to fit into the damned thing!

Rumour has it that I've got t-rex arms, though you wouldn't guess that from looking at me. Shit, most people think I'm only a half-step from walking on my knuckles.

So back to the Corolla… no matter how I adjust the seat and wheel in it, it just doesn't work. Everything's in the wrong spot. If I put the seat back enough to put my feet properly on the pedals, I can't reach the steering wheel. If I pull forward a bit to properly reach the wheel, my knees are just about hitting the column. This is using every possible combination of the reclining back, sliding, tiltin seat, and tilting wheel. It just doesn't fit!

Stupid Corolla!! I'm well under 6' tall. I should fit into just about any car on the market. Is this thing made for midgets or something???

So then… reaching some sort of compromise with my knees bent just a bit too much and the wheel just a bit too far away, I came to realize that the stereo controls are a mile away and barely reachable and there's no arm rest to speak of.

There's something 3" too low and behind my elbow that you can stuff crap in but I'd have to lean nearly into the passenger seat and recline the seat gangsta-style if I actually wanted to rest my arm on it!

All I've done is drive to work in it and already I want my car back. And my car was designed 15 years ago as an econobox. Unbelievable!!

Thank-you, Switzerland.

I tied for the win in the first round of my lunch-crowd World Cup pool. Free lunch for me! Woot!

And on this topic… is it just me or are footballers the biggest bunch of crying babies on the planet? People are telling me that they roll around and cry with the hopes of getting favour from the officials. So basically… they're either pansies or they're cheaters. How flattering.

I'd love to see those guys put some skates on and play a few minutes of proper hockey and see what's left of them when it's over!

What I'm worth.

Apparently in the overall scheme of things, every Canadian is worth $141,000.

So where's mine? Hell if I know!! Seems to me a bunch of rich people and corporations have hoarded up all my assets and are bathing in my money.

Stupid rich folk.

To add insult to injury, I'm supposed to be $1.08 in debt for every dollar of disposable income. Well I've got damn near nil in disposable income after paying all my bloody living expenses and my mortgage is a hell of a lot more than $1.08 so it would appear I'm getting screwed there too.

So then… who's the rich bastard I have to beat down to get my share???

I'll bet it's Chuck Guite, that rat bastard!!!

Street Racers will kill us all!

The story of the day is Street Racing.

Did you know that street racing kills more people in a day than lung cancer and postal workers kill in an entire year???

If you don't believe me… well then you probably haven't been catching the news these days. It seems that street racers are killing people left and right and need to be stopped at all costs.

From the office of the Prime Minister, we get this:

[blockquote]Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced today that the government will introduce legislation this spring to crack down on street racing. “Let’s be clear, street racing isn’t about kids having fun. It's reckless, dangerous, and all too often it kills." said the Prime Minister. “That is why our government will introduce legislation to tackle this serious problem head on.” [/blockquote]

So then.. how many people are being killed?

From CBC News I get this:

[blockquote]There are no official Canadian statistics on street-racing or related deaths. But 33 people in Ontario have been killed due to street racing, according to Project E.R.A.S.E., which stands for Eliminate Racing Activities on Streets Everywhere. The Ontario-based program is a joint project involving 15 police departments and government ministries in Ontario. There is no national equivalent, but the problem is Canada-wide, said program coordinator, Const. Kent Taylor of the Ontario Provincial Police. And, "the death toll is rising." [/blockquote]

So 33 people. They didn't say 33 people so far this year. Or in the past 10 years. They just say 33 people have died in Ontario from street racing. And this is just a number that this committee is quoting to justify their budget. I trust readers will have an opinion of their own on how many of those incidents ACTUALLY had anything to do with racing.

Incidentally, I found stats saying that 17 people were killed in Toronto back in 01/02 from street racing. Take that as you will.

Now then… what should they do about it? Well the new laws they're proposing are suggesting a maximum penalty of LIFE IN PRISON. Add to that the fact that they're already confiscating people's cars as "instruments of crime" and you can get an idea of how blown out of proportion this whole thing is getting.

For comparison, in 2003 over 100 people were killed in Ontario by drunk drivers. Why aren't they tightening up those laws? I'll bet they're catching a whole lot more drunk drivers than they are street racers. Why aren't they crushing THOSE cars on television??

For another comparison, consider that if you're a teenager and you beat someone to death, you might just get ONE DAY IN PRISON.

As a little eye opener to those believing everything they read, consider the recent story about the 3 Corvettes on the 427.

Here's the CTV article on the story.

First of all, just because the three cars were driving fast doesn't mean they were racing. I'm not trying to justify the behaviour, I'm simply taking off the spin.

Secondly, the only one who was hurt in this (besides the friends and family and what not, obviously) was the driver himself. He chose to drive too fast and got himself killed. That's a real shame.

So what about the other two guys? They're going to have their cars confiscated and crushed because someone else lost control and killed themselves?

If that's justified, then should I get life in prison if I'm jaywalking and someone near me, also jaywalking, gets run over by a cabbie?

My point here is that the whole thing is getting blown out of proportion by the media and the public terror they're generating is pushing the politicians to enact laws that we don't need and will only villify everyone on the road with a performance car.

What we REALLY need is some proper facilities by which people could take their cars racing legally and not risk having their insurance cancelled for doing it.

The police are telling people to "take it to the track" but what they're not telling them is that if their insurance provider were to find out that they've done so, their policy will be instantly cancelled.

So on the one side they're pretending to provide a solution, but on the other they are just a bigger part of the problem.

The Inauguration.

So here it is. It's been talked about by people you don't know and you probably won't ever see it. If you do, it'll probably be years from now when the world as we know it has ended and we're reduced to surfing web archives from renegade servers dreaming of the before time when we could still think for ourselves and the Man hadn't yet let us know that he owned us all. Back when we still thought we were free.

But that's the future. This is now, and we've convinced ourselves that now is pretty good. Of course, it doesn't take much looking to see the terrible injustices going on all around us, but it's also not too hard to ignore most of it and go about our lives doing our best to create bright spots among the doldrums.

Now before anyone starts getting depressed and tying ropes around the rafters, this blog isn't going to be all doom and gloom. I'm sure I'll have some uplifting stuff to post up here now and then. For the most part though, this will be my soapbox for ranting about my views on the world around us and trying to make sense of the utter nonsense the people in charge try to force down our throats.

So who are these people I'm speaking of? Well that's changing all the time depending on my mood, what's in the news, and whether I've had enough sleep in the past 24 hours so I'll let you figure it out for yourself from entry to entry.

For today, it's the government and the press and the fact that they're joined at the hip and both managed by complete imbeciles. I'll close off this introduction first though so that can have it's own proper little box on the page.

So if you've stumbled across this place and you're curious enough to stick around, I tip my hat to you. If enough of us can band together then maybe… just maybe… the future holds some hope after all.

See you here…

Not Weasel.